Aug 19

Written by: Patrick McBane
8/19/2016 12:05 PM 

The Pain of Change

What if I told you it would require more pain, more discomfort and more risk in order for the current pain and discomfort of your life to be healed or resolved? Well, I'm telling you... It will.

Welcome to a reality that faces us all!

There is a human tendency in all of us to avoid discomfort and pain. In our human bodies we move when we're uncomfortable. We pull back, flinch, or recoil when there's pain. It's a built in mechanism that keeps us going and in some cases keeps us alive.

What's ironic is that the same built in mechanism to pull back and resist is the very thing that often stands in the way of healing and resolution.


In Transformational Leadership we talk about a reality that faces us all when this dynamic is at play -

"Change seldom occurs until the pain of staying the same exceeds the pain of change."

The fact is there are pre-existing mindsets that have been shaped by past experience that tell us not to do certain things because we'll get certain results. These mindsets are justified when the same type of event occurs over and over. The inability to see change happens when the next event occurs and now we engage with a very skeptical, sometimes indifferent approach to that situation. Actually most of us don't even engage because we see it as a futile exercise that will create more negative results.


What if you knew how to identify, change and engage with these daily challenges in a way that produced favorable results?


Try this simple exercise before you go into that meeting, work project, sales call, discussion with your spouse .... Or whatever next -

  • Decide today to open yourself up to a new level of feedback from others - even those you don't always agree with. Ask yourself - what am I doing to contribute to this pain?
  • Decide today that you will make a conscious effort to identify the thoughts associated with those uncomfortable experiences so that you can change them. Changing thoughts is like exercise. Repetition and frequency are the only things that will develop that new - stronger muscle and response.
  • Decide today that you won't revert back or give up too quickly if you don't see the results you want immediately. That with determination and the love of others - you will persevere.

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Last thought -

The only solution to the pain and bondage going on in the world is the love of God, flowing through human beings who are willing to love God, love themselves, and love people at a greater level than they did yesterday. We must be willing to love those who don't love us back. We have to move from just loving people who agree with us to loving people even when their lives are filled with the struggle and junk that make us want to get away or even reject them.